Not Even Elvis' Ghost Could Believe This One

"My married name is Mrs. Lisa Marie Presley-Jackson." - Quotetaken from a statement issued at approximately 2:45 p.m. CST onMonday.

"Oh man, can I get some Dilaudid or some Percodan or somethin'?I ain't feelin' too good." - Comment made by an obviously shook-upemployee at a Burger King in Kalamazoo, Mich., at approximately 2:50p.m. CST on Monday. The employee, a sideburned, overweight andextremely private fellow who goes by the name of "Eddie," had to berevived after he passed out upon hearing the above statement read onthe news.

So does this mean Lisa Marie Presley will be able to corroboratethose allegations about "distinguishing characteristics" on …